Squeeze Me and Juice Will Come Out

Last Thursday I decided to take the Blue Print Renovation Cleanse. I mentally prepped all week to starve myself for one day…and by 8:00 at night I was eating a quart of guacamole with a spoon.

The whole reason I even did the cleanse was because I’ve been on a juice kick lately. Obsessed, if you will. I saw the Blueprint box at Whole Foods for $54.99 and knew that was a steal compared to the $75 online. When I walked into work the day after posting on Facebook about starting it, the first thing my boss asks is, “Does it make you shit?” The answer is no. But it sure makes you piss like a race horse all day.

I had to drink six bottles in one day, so I was drinking one bottle every two hours since I started mid-afternoon.

I drank my first juice at 11:15am. It was green and made up of organic romaine, organic apple, organic celery, organic cucumber, organic spinach, organic kale, organic parsley, organic lemon. It was delicious. My favorite part of the cleanse was the fact that I was eating exactly what was in the bottle and nothing more.

Here’s what I remember about the rest of the cleanse.

12:15pm Drink #2 – Pretty sure it contained organic pineapple, organic apple, and organic mint. It was a different flavor  from the first and it was refreshing to know that every juice would taste different from the last.

2:30pm Drink #3 – Another green juice. My mentality after drinking this one was, “YAY! I’m half way through.”

4:30pm Drink #4 – Spicy lemonade was my least favorite. It’s literally a blend of lemon juice, agave and cayenne extract. I had to force myself to sip it, because it was so bitter. This one was the hardest to swallow.

5:30pm Drink # 5 – C.A.B. aka carrots, apples, and beets. I’ve never had beets before but this was good stuff. Although I had already drank 4 bottles of juice, my stomach was screaming for food. One of my co-workers ordered a chicken caesar salad that was smelling up the kitchen and I wanted it. I wanted it all. My mentality at this time was, “Oh thank god, I’m almost done.”

8:00pm Drink #6: Cashew Milk was a refreshing sweetener since I had been drinking nothing but tart juice all day. It tastes like a nutty horchata because of the agave nectar, cinnamon and vanilla extract…all organic of course. My mentality at this time was,  “HOLY SHIT I DID IT!”

The juice kit is supposed to come with instructions. Mine didn’t. I hit up the FAQ on http://www.blueprintcleanse.com and found a cheat sheet by Googling “Foods I can eat while on the Blueprint cleanse.” The only thing that appealed to me out of celery, carrots, etc…was 1/4 of an avocado. 1/4? What the hell am I supposed to do with the rest of the avocado? Instead I just ate a whole damn container of Whole Foods guacamole.

Bottom line…I won’t do it again. I’m just going to add juice to my diet. I have at least one bottle of Evolution Fresh juice in my fridge at all times…until I buy my own juicer. I’m too far gone in fat ass mode to starve for a day.

Overall, I didn’t even feel rejuvenated. I felt exhausted and I just wanted to sleep.

If you are looking to start a juice cleanse read a lot about it first and don’t just dive into it. Your body will thank you if you follow the directions…otherwise you will suffer.

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