Monthly Archives: April 2018

Demons

We all have them. The question is, how much mental strength does one need to fight them and win?

This year has been filled with nothing but negative, dark, morbid, unpleasant events. Most of them, I’ve had not one bit of control over. I may have entered 2018 with a positive outlook, but as the months began to pass I began to develop a sour, hateful, and bitter attitude toward and against those around me.

Lately I’ve been surrounded by friends who struggle with depression. I’ve had my own personal experiences with this particular demon, but that was 9 years ago, and now I am in a much more healthy state-of-mind. I am not ashamed to admit that I used to self-harm, self-medicate, and self-loathe. Hell, I despised myself and the path that I put myself on. The floor wasn’t even beneath me, I was beneath it. Do you hear that? Me. Me. Me. Me. Me.

I didn’t and still don’t know how I pulled myself out of that hole of emptiness, rage, and destructive behaviors. I wanted out, but I was too chicken shit to really do anything about it. Recent events have me reflecting on how I healed my emotional wounds and I hope I can relay it in a way that speaks to others so that they can help themselves.

Through humor, laughter, and finding the positive in every single negative, over time, I have healed myself. With the cards I have been dealt, especially with my brothers, it’s true what they say. Things could always be worse.

To make my point, your mental health matters, but so does the mental health of others. Share a smile, be kind, talk yourself through the negative thoughts. Positive thinking does help, but only with persistence. It’s ok to think, “me, me, me, me, me,” as long as it bestows sunlight on your soul without disregarding the feelings of those around you.

Never be afraid to end relationships that no longer serve you and embrace the ones with whom you can have a deep conversation. Look for the meaning behind the words they speak. Also, never be afraid to ask for help on your journey to achieving true happiness.

You deserve it.

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