Tag Archives: food addiction

Reflection

I have time to write now, and of course it’s about food. SURPRISE!

I’ve been seeing a nutritionist for 3 months now, very helpful, but this only helps to reach my point.

I’ve done some reflecting over the past week, (in Miami nonetheless) and while I consumed my weight (guiltlessly) in pizza pot pie, hearty breakfasts, and Cuban food, I had a breakthrough. 

My binge eating disorder stems from reflection. Reflecting on memories of spaghetti dinners at my Nana’s house, or that one time at the Taste of Chicago when Jason knocked a slice of Eli’s Cheesecake out of my hand. Birthday dinners with my grandpa, holidays with family. Food is comfort to me. Food is nostalgia.

For the next 6 weeks I will be cutting back on foods I enjoy most. Bread, cheese, pasta, beer…carbs. I will be working out 3 times a week, while weighing in weekly to track progress. On September 14th I vow to be stronger, I vow to be healthier, but most importantly…I vow to not be afraid to be fit.

In my past, being “fit” came  with heartache. Today, I am the happiest I have ever been. I challenge myself to change, to say no, and to learn that I can maintain a healthy lifestyle while being HAPPY. 

Let the games begin. 

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A Grilled Cheese Sandwich for the Soul

It’s not chicken soup, but you catch my drift.

I’ve been experiencing some life changes lately and I thought I’d do some reflecting. Nothing drastic, just pondering old relationships and fresh ones while trying to grab a brand new nutritional lifestyle change by the horns. 

Yea, that’s right. I’m buying zoodles, (zucchini noodles), dairy-free milk, and reducing my flour intake…god help me. 

I’ll just cut the shit and admit to you all, that for years, I’ve been lying to myself about having not just a passion for food, but an addiction toward it. This addiction also involves (only) binge eating. 

I will tell you that I am a foodie. This is because I am fascinated by what other cultures eat and the ingredients that fuse so well together when paired. But behind my passion for discovering new dining spots, I struggle with a balance. I don’t have a healthy relationship with food. 

I don’t need to dig down the rabbit hole and bore you with details, but I will say that it is so hard to break bad habits. It is so hard to let go of something that has comforted you for all of your life. It is hard to say goodbye to the routine.

Just writing this makes me realize why I binge. Because it’s so easy to reach for the one thing that has always made you happy and you are certain it will never let you down. (Except when the jeans don’t fit).

Since February of 2013, I have gained 35 lbs over the course of three years. Why? Because I suffered a loss from 3 of my closest grandparents and great grandmother that I seeked comfort for. But I need to realize that I am ok.

I am ok to lead a life without them, knowing that they will stay with me wherever I go. I am ok to thrive, in my career and in my personal life.

I am ok to say no, if it means taking time for myself. I am ok to live a healthier lifestyle that I deserve. 

And I am ok to let go of all of this weight.