I really didn’t want to write this, especially during my lunch break, but since it’s official and I’m still reeling, here it goes.
Early last month, after being on a 15-year waiting list for Misericordia – a home for disabled adults and children – my brothers were called upon 5 years early to live there. This meant we were blindsided by overwhelming emotions and one hell of a tough decision.
You can never prepare for a phone call like that. When my mother sent me a text message to tell me about it, all I could do was cry. We (mom, dad, my fiancé and I) knew what our decision had to be, but we aren’t the slightest bit ready to let them go.
I always said I wanted to move out before they did, because I couldn’t and still can’t imagine coming home from work everyday and not seeing them where they belong. Now I think, what would be the difference? And I can’t really find an answer for that.
I’ve always been the voice for my brothers and for once, I am speechless. Sean can adapt anywhere, but what I fear the most is that Jason won’t be happy.
But all we can do is try. We can bring them home when we want and we can visit them as much as we want, the only difference is that nights in their own beds will be slim.
I understand we have to look at it as if the boys are going off to college and living in dorms for the rest of their lives. But that doesn’t make it easier. I am grateful for Misericordia, because it will allow my brothers to thrive. They promise that once the boys feel comfortable, they’ll love it so much they won’t want to come home. Which is understandable, because they have concerts, pet therapy, swimming, and a bunch of other fun activities for them to participate in.
Jason and Sean will be under the same roof, but not in the same room. They will be separated, so they can blossom as individuals and not be dubbed as the brothers in wheelchairs.
There’s so much more I could say, but for now, this is all I can process.
I just want to spend as much time with my brothers as possible.